Hi

Today i feel the prettiest i 've felt in, forever. It feels nice.

Thankful for

Cute puppies. A stronger relationship with mister. Health. And a never-ending list of opportunities and treasures life surprises me with.

i'm back

the view from my window seat. somewhere over the northwest.

washington was a strange mix of draining disappointments and eye-opening excitement.

I'm afraid of what being back home will do to my new positive attitude.

happiness

what makes me happy vs what WOULD make me happy

happy now
-my dog waiting for me at the door
-raul doing unexpected nice things for me
-little sister wanting to do silly crafts and games
-feeling fulfilled after giving great customer service at work
-seeing a journal page complete
-a stocked home bar
-delicious food

happy later?
-legitimate invitations to events (not just forceful generic ones)
-feeling knowledgeable, witty and well versed
-having a female friend with whom to share superficial thoughts as well as fears and dreams
-a documented proof of education or something
-a bar or other location where i am comfortable in knowing i will see a familiar face and feel at ease.
-motivation to complete projects
-journals full of songwritting, and life documenting
-a clear mind. free of money worries, gult and insecurity.

my mind is a sad fucked up place.
i have no idea where to start.
maybe ONE friend would be nice.

but how do i find her?